Nine and a half years ago, a small puppy named Cocoa came into my life.

She was named by my son, who loved chocolate, despite the fact that she was almost entirely white. At the time, I was unsure about bringing a dog into our family. As a child, I had experienced the heartbreak of losing a beloved dog and had promised myself I would never put myself through that pain again.

Yet here I was, welcoming Cocoa into our home, unaware of the profound impact she would have on all of us.

From a young age, Cocoa faced numerous medical challenges. Through surgeries, pain, and eventually becoming a tripod dog, she never seemed to lose her joy for life. She greeted each day with enthusiasm, love, and resilience. She became a constant companion, a comforting presence, and a source of light during both ordinary and difficult times.

Cocoa had a remarkable ability to sense when someone needed comfort. If you were upset, she would quietly snuggle beside you. She was the warm space between my husband and me in bed, my loyal shadow around the house, and often the listener to my daily thoughts and worries. Her paws smelled like Rich Tea biscuits, and her gentle presence brought comfort in ways that are difficult to put into words.

Walking her was always an adventure. Although it could take us half an hour just to reach the end of the road because she wanted to investigate every leaf and blade of grass, those moments taught me something about slowing down and appreciating the world around me. The only thing that seemed to concern her was someone wearing a bobble hat!

As you can imagine, losing Cocoa has been incredibly hard. I find myself asking who will dance in the kitchen with me now?

The grief has, at times, felt overwhelming. Yet despite the heartache, I do not regret a single moment we shared. In fact, Cocoa taught me one of life's most important lessons: to love and lose is far more meaningful than never having loved at all.

Since losing her, I have experienced grief in all its complexity. Some days I feel gratitude and warmth when I think of her. Other days, her absence feels almost unbearable. Sometimes I experience multiple emotions in the same day. I have also noticed that other losses from my life have resurfaced, and at times my emotions feel heightened and difficult to manage.

This is grief.

Grief is not linear. It is not something we simply "get over." It is a deeply personal journey that reflects the unique bond we shared with the person, pet, or part of life that we have lost.

One aspect of pet bereavement that can be particularly difficult is that society does not always recognise the depth of the loss. Yet for many people, a pet is family. They witness our daily lives, provide unconditional love, offer companionship through loneliness, and become woven into the fabric of our routines and relationships.

When they leave us, we are not only grieving their absence. We are grieving the loss of the role they played in our lives, the comfort they provided, and the future memories we imagined having with them.

As a counsellor, this experience has reminded me that understanding grief intellectually and living through it personally are very different experiences. I have been humbled by the intensity of my own emotions and reminded that no one is immune from loss.

Counselling can provide a safe and compassionate space to explore these feelings. It offers the opportunity to talk openly about your loss without judgement, to understand the emotions that arise, and to process the impact grief can have on your life. Sometimes simply being heard and having your pain acknowledged can be an important part of healing.

Grief does not mean forgetting. Healing does not mean leaving our loved ones behind.

I will carry Cocoa with me for the rest of my life. She remains part of my story, part of my family, and part of who I am. It was a privilege and an honour to be her mum.

I am sharing this personal experience because I did not fully appreciate how deeply pet loss would affect me. I wanted to offer reassurance to anyone who may be struggling with the loss of a beloved animal companion.

If you are grieving a pet, please know that your feelings are valid. Your sadness is real. Your loss matters.

Cocoa reminded me what it means to love and be loved unconditionally. For that, I will always be grateful.

And perhaps that is what grief ultimately reflects—the depth of the love that came before it.