During my work as a therapist, I have found that our need to feel valued and worthy is an essential part of being human. At our core, we all want to know that we matter — that who we are, just as we are, is enough.

Yet, all too often, we forget how deeply our life experiences shape the way we see ourselves. The messages we absorb from our families, communities, schools, and workplaces can have a profound influence on how we come to understand our own value. Sometimes, we even label ourselves as needy or too much, when in truth, what we are really longing for is simply to be seen, heard, and accepted.

How Conditions of Worth Develop

In humanistic psychology, particularly within Carl Rogers’ person-centred approach, there is a concept known as “conditions of worth.” These are the invisible rules we internalise — often from a very young age — about what makes us acceptable, lovable, or “good enough.”

Over time, these early messages become part of our self-concept. We begin to adapt our behaviour, emotions, and even our sense of identity to maintain acceptance or avoid rejection. We might suppress parts of ourselves that we fear won’t be welcomed, and in doing so, lose touch with our more authentic feelings and needs.

This can lead to a sense of incongruence — a gap between who we truly are and who we believe we must be to feel valued. It can show up as self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or a persistent sense of not being enough.

The Role of Therapy in Reclaiming Worth

As a humanistic therapist, I believe that healing begins when we create a space where you can feel comfortable enough to explore these patterns with empathy, acceptance, and compassion. Within this kind of environment — one of unconditional positive regard — you don’t have to earn your worth or meet any expectation. You are accepted exactly as you are, with all your feelings, contradictions, and complexities.

In therapy we may gently start to uncover the conditions of worth that may have shaped your life story. By bringing them into awareness, you can begin to question whether these old conditions still serve you — and what it might feel like to let them go.

The process is rarely about quick change. Instead, it’s about reconnection — returning to the parts of yourself that have been hidden or silenced. It’s about rediscovering that your worth was never truly conditional; it has been there all along, waiting to be recognised.

Moving Toward Unconditional Self-Acceptance

As you begin to experience acceptance within the therapeutic space, you may start to internalise that same acceptance for yourself. Over time, this can lead to a deeper, more grounded sense of self-worth — one that isn’t dependent on achievement, approval, or meeting external expectations.

Ultimately, the journey through therapy may help you cultivate a more authentic relationship with yourself — one built on understanding, compassion, and trust. You may begin to live less from the “shoulds” of others and more from your own sense of truth and value.

Because at the heart of humanistic therapy lies a simple, powerful belief:

You are inherently worthy, simply because you exist.

A Gentle Invitation

If you find yourself struggling with self-worth, self-criticism, or the feeling that you are never quite enough, know that you are not alone. These feelings are often rooted in the condition’s life has placed upon us — and they can be explored and understood, often leading to healing.

Therapy offers a space to reconnect with your true self — to rediscover your value and your voice. If this resonates with you, I warmly invite you to reach out or take a moment of reflection today. You are deserving of compassion, connection, and the freedom to feel worthy just as you are.